


Respite

by flootzavut



Series: Unwise [1]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationship, Angst, Blanket Permission, Episode Related, Episode: s02e13 Deal Me Out, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humour, M/M, Sexual Relationship, Smut, implied polyamory, nexttimeverse, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-06 01:57:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18841297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: Everyone needs respite sometimes.





	Respite

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brevityis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brevityis/gifts), [onekisstotakewithme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekisstotakewithme/gifts), [alleyesonthehindenburg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alleyesonthehindenburg/gifts), [justalittlegreen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justalittlegreen/gifts).



> For many and varied reasons ♥️
> 
> Particular thanks to Greenie for 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼 beta reading. All remaining imperfections are despite your efforts 😉
> 
> Related to but not exactly a tag for Deal Me Out.

* * *

**_Respite_ **

* * *

 

On a different day, in a different mood, maybe Hawk would suggest another poker game to all the guys. It isn't simple camaraderie he's after tonight, though, and given his tenuous position as Trap's friend/fuckbuddy and his on-again, off-again relationships with half the nurses, it's not as if he has a lot to lose when he decides to try his luck with Sidney Freedman.

There's no one watching the time. There's no one waiting up for him.

That's not to say Sidney's a last resort. He's interesting (and interested); even if Hawk were in a position to be choosy, he'd still gladly seek out Sidney's company. He grabs a deck of cards and a bottle of the still's finest vintage, and heads on over to the VIP tent.

(He doesn't even have to excuse himself to Trap. Trap has a date. Not that Hawkeye's counting.)

"So what brings you to darken my door?" Sidney asks when he opens it. His smile takes any sting out of the words.

Hawk holds up his offerings. "Cards and booze. You up for it?" He raises his eyebrows and catches his tongue between his front teeth.

Whether or not Sidney gets the message is hard to say. He raises one eyebrow in return, and there's a wicked grin ticking at the corner of his mouth, but that could mean any number of things. Part of what Hawk likes so much about Sidney is that he's full of surprises.

He waves Hawk in and sits on the cot just south of the pillow. There's no card table in here; it's a good excuse for Hawk to make himself at home, tugging off his boots and sitting crosslegged at the other end of what might charitably be described as a mattress. (Compared to the non-VIP cots, it's downright luxurious.) He sets down his cards and waves his bottle of rotgut at Sidney. "You got any glasses?"

"Strangely enough, Hawkeye, no. I wasn't expecting to entertain this evening," Sidney says, with another almost-grin that creases his eyes.

"Well hell, it's not as if any germs could survive our home brew." Hawk unscrews the cap and takes a long swig, then offers the bottle to Sidney with a challenging smirk.

Sidney takes it, holding eye contact as he drinks in a way that seems like he's making his own challenge, but to what, Hawk doesn't even try to guess. He doesn't know Sidney well enough yet; he just knows he wants to.

"So what are we playing?" Sidney asks, as Hawk recaps the bottle and balances it between the cot and the side of the tent.

"Whatever you like."

"It seems a shame to take the rest of your money, but that's not to say I won't do it."

"Actually, I'm all tapped out."

Another eyebrow. "You came to play poker and don't have a stake?"

"I don't have any _cash_ ," Hawk corrects. "I never said I didn't have a stake."

They look at one another. Maybe Hawk can project 'So, you wanna fuck?' directly into Sid's brain if he thinks it hard enough.

"Oh?" Sidney says at last. "What exactly are you gonna ante up?"

Hawk's tempted to say 'Clothing and sexual favours.' He's not sure how Sidney would react, though.

Officially, Sidney's an army shrink, and should send Hawk home with a blot on his record if he finds out Hawk is less than fussy about what any given lover has in their pants. Unofficially, Hawk's not stupid; he can spot a fellow queer nine times out of ten. Besides, even if Sidney weren't a little bent, he's pragmatic enough not to throw out a perfectly good surgeon just because that surgeon likes cock.

Nevertheless, it's a delicate situation. Hawk isn't quite ready to lay all his cards on the table.

"I'm sure I'll think of something," he offers instead, and follows it up with a coy grin.

Sidney tilts his head to one side. "Hawkeye, you do know I'm married, right?" he asks, in a softer voice.

Hawk's side-swiped; not especially that Sidney's married, but that he's openly acknowledging what Hawk's implying and hinting at. Hawk didn't know, but his rules about not sleeping with married women get blurry when it comes to married guys anyway, and Sidney's so- Hawk _likes_ Sid, and he's lonely. And he thought... He's an idiot. _Damnit_. "I- I'm sorry, I-"

Sidney leans forward and touches Hawk's knee, his hand warm through Hawk's fatigues. "Hawkeye."

"What?"

Sidney strokes with his thumb, just tiny circles. It isn't sexual, or even especially sensual, but it sends a shiver up Hawk's spine. "I'm not saying no, Hawkeye," Sidney says at last. "The rules are different in Korea anyway; I'm sure you know that." He smiles. "But more to the point, my wife gave me strict instructions to come back in one piece, whatever it takes." A pause. "Whoever it takes."

Hawk frowns. He's honestly not clear whether Sidney's hitting on him or warning him off.

"Molly would like you very much," Sid adds. "I wanted to make sure we're both on the same page, that's all."

It would be easier to be on the same page if they were even in the same book. "Sid..."

Sidney shakes his head, but he's smiling. He's amused, not dismissive, and there's no mockery in it. "Let's play cards and have a drink and talk."

"And-?"

"And see what happens."

There's a look on Sidney's face Hawk can't entirely make sense of. Sidney sees far too much; it should make Hawk run for the hills, but he's not certain he could pull himself away even if he wanted to. And he's very confused, but it doesn't seem as if Sidney's turning him down flat...

Okay. All right. Hawk can bide his time.

"So what are we playing?" he asks, and if his voice is a little gravelly, well hey, homemade hooch can do that to anybody, right?

Sidney pauses, then (with considerable gravitas) says, "Go Fish."

Hawk blinks. "What?"

"You heard me." Sid's eyes are full of merriment. "You said whatever I like. Well, I wanna play Go Fish."

"How can we bet on Go Fish?"

"How can you bet with no money?"

"There are things you can wager besides money."

"Such as?"

"I told you, I'll come up with something," Hawk says, pouting. _Such as a really good blowjob_ , he doesn't say. "Have a little imagination."

There's a moment of silence before Sid asks, with a thoroughly delighted smirk, "Hawkeye Pierce, did you come to my tent intending to play strip poker?"

Hawk should be happy Sidney's finally caught up, but instead he does the unthinkable and blushes.

"Far be it from me to stop you taking your clothes off." Sid's tone is light, but there's something smouldering in his eyes that feels like another challenge.

 _Let's see what happens_. God, Hawk hopes he already knows what's gonna happen.

Go Fish isn't exactly what he planned, but it turns out to be a lot of fun. Like Trap, Sid is easy company: easy to make laugh, easy to tease, enjoyably enthusiastic about the ridiculous things they do to pass the time between sessions in OR. (Such as the absurdity of playing a children's card game for unspoken stakes.)

It's still unclear how receptive Sid is to the possibilities. Hawk would jump Sid's bones immediately given a little encouragement, but he's just not sure of his reception.

In the meantime, he can't help getting caught up in the game. They get quicker each round, settling in, laughing as they try to outsmart each other at cards and witticisms, and Hawk relaxes more than he has in ages, all but forgetting he came here with an agenda.

Then Sidney asks, "Do you have... any threes?"

Hawk looks up. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Threes. They come between two and four. If you like, I'll draw you a picture."

"Haha, very funny," Hawk says drily. "Did I or did I not just ask you for threes?"

"You did."

"And did you or did you not respond, 'Go Fish, Doc'?"

Sidney makes a show of thinking about it. "That sounds about right," he agrees.

"Did you just- did you just _cheat_ at _Go Fish_ , Sidney?"

Sid opens his eyes wide in a faux-innocent expression that's absurdly charming. "Who, me?"

"There's no reason you'd be asking for threes unless you already had some."

"Isn't there?"

"Let me see your cards!"

"No."

"Sidney-"

"How do I know you're not accusing me of cheating just to look at my cards? If you're worried about taking your clothes off when you lose, Hawkeye, rest assured it's nothing I haven't seen before."

Sidney sounds as guileless as anything, but Hawk knows that expression from numerous poker nights. "You're bluffing," he accuses.

"Am I?" Sidney's shaking with the effort of not laughing, but he still manages to use his mildest, most irritatingly reasonable therapist voice, eyes even wider now. He's a hairsbreadth away from disintegrating.

"You... _you_..."

Apparently that's the final straw. And it's the final straw for Hawk, too. The sun comes out when Sid laughs. Hawk launches himself up the bed, sending playing cards flying, and grabs Sidney to pin him down, though it's hardly necessary with Sid giggling like a big kid. He wriggles in Hawk's grasp, and it's obvious it's for effect, it's almost flirtatious, and it's automatic to press down, to seek more contact and not to be shy about it, to grin when Sidney doesn't object.

Of course, he's still laughing, which isn't exactly the mood Hawk was aiming for. But laughter can work too, and it's undeniably one of Hawk's strengths, so maybe he should go with it. "I'll teach you to cheat me at cards."

"What're you gonna do," Sidney splutters, "spank me?"

He's so relaxed and open, smile wide and face lit up, and when Hawk lets his thigh fall between Sidney's, Sid's all hard promise and Hawk wants, damnit. God, he _wants_. Resisting temptation has never been his strong suit. He bends down, and Sidney lets him, and he kisses Sidney, sinks into it, deep and filthy, and Sidney kisses him back just as hard. He runs a hand down Sidney's side, rejoices in the low groan it prompts, almost laughs aloud when Sidney arches into his touch.

"Don't tempt me," he breathes against Sid's lips.

"Don't... what?"

Hawk grins as he pulls away. Sidney's eyes are black and his mouth is lax, and he blinks slowly.

"Don't tempt me to spank you," Hawk finishes.

Another slow blink, and Sidney's smiling again, wicked and deeply amused. "I think you'd much rather I spank _you_ ," he says.

They stare at each other for a second, and Hawk's entire body flushes with need. Is it obvious even in this low light? He's in trouble, and it's about time.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" he asks, voice low, before leaning down to capture Sidney's mouth again.

Hawk isn't new to kissing a guy, nor even to facial hair, but he's not used to someone with a full moustache. It's... different. Not in a bad way; it reminds him, as if he needed reminding, that he's kissing a man, that he's kissing Sidney, and Sidney's kissing him back with enthusiasm and skill. He strokes Sid's cheeks, runs his thumbs over the soft bristles on Sid's lip, memorising this in case Sidney has an attack of common sense and it never happens again.

For his part, Sidney digs his fingers deep into Hawk's hair and pulls just right, just on the edge of too much, and Hawk knew Sidney would be good at this, he _knew_ it. Sid has good hands, hands Hawk wants everywhere, wants on his skin, _damn_.

Asking (or maybe begging) to be touched would mean they have to stop kissing, though, and that seems like a truly terrible idea, so Hawk untucks Sid's shirt to get at _his_ skin, to caress his back and his belly, and hopes he can take a hint.

"Whoa," Sidney murmurs when Hawk finally loses patience and tugs at his pants. He draws back a little.

Hawk tugs again. "Sidney, I just wanna..."

"I feel like I'm taking advantage," Sidney says.

"Take it. It's all yours."

"That isn't as comforting as you think."

"Why the hell not?"

Sidney gives him a _look_.

"What?"

"You know the definition of taking advantage, Hawkeye. It's a bad thing."

"Sidney, I'm a grown man," Hawk says with a pout. "I'm perfectly capable of deciding who I wanna sleep with."

"You do a remarkable impression of an adult over a severely wounded patient, I'll give you that."

What does that even mean?

"I'm a doctor-" Sidney continues.

"What a coincidence," Hawk interrupts, "so am I. But I'm not your patient, Sidney, and you're not mine. Unless you want to play doctors and nurses, in which case I'd love to see you in stockings."

Sidney's eyebrows shoot toward his hairline, but he can't entirely hide his amusement. "Is that so?"

"What can I say? I've always appreciated a good pair of legs, whoever they're attached to."

"Should I warn Klinger?"

"Bold of you to assume Klinger doesn't already know."

That gets a burst of laughter, which Hawk takes as a good sign. He's not quite sure why Sidney's being so coy all of a sudden, but he's not intrigued enough to let it distract him from what he really wants. He leans down to whisper (or whine, if he's being honest) in Sidney's ear, "C'mon. I know you wanna. Don't even have to return the favour." He lets his lips brush against Sid's skin and lowers his voice to a confiding murmur. "I can take care of myself. I've wanted you for ages, Sidney, I've dreamed of making you come apart. I'm hard just thinking about it; it's not gonna take a lot."

" _Fuck_ , Hawkeye."

"I'd need to go get some supplies, but that could easily be arranged. I'd love to catch if you'll pitch."

Sidney laughs again, and the laughter just gets deeper and warmer when Hawk nibbles on his earlobe. "You're a piece of work," he mutters, but even as he says it, he's relaxing, slipping a hand back into Hawk's hair and tugging, craning his neck like he's offering himself up.

Hawk's more than happy to oblige, pushing Sid down into the blankets, taking a deep breath of his warm scent, kissing and sucking at his throat. It's tempting to leave a trail of hickeys, but it isn't safe. It's not fair that it isn't safe, but even in the midst of this, Hawk's too careful to risk it, especially with someone he likes, whom he already trusts, who could easily be a very real friend and not just someone he has sex with.

"D'ya have any idea how much I wanted to touch you last night? How often I imagine slipping a hand into your lap under the card table?" He leaves a hot, lingering kiss at the corner of Sidney's jaw; Sidney shudders deliciously. "God, Sid, do you even know?"

Sidney lets out a whine of his own, and Hawk laughs. He runs his hand down Sidney's chest and stomach and between his legs.

"You're so hard for me, Sid. That's so fucking hot. You feel amazing." Sidney whines again, and it sets Hawk's brain on fire. "I could ride you till I scream."

More laughter, low and a little strained. "Now you're the purveyor of temptation."

"Maybe one day?"

Yet another laugh. "I don't think I can trust myself to respond to that wisely with you on top of me."

"Which is exactly why I'm asking you now."

"Healthy boundaries aren't your forte, are they?"

"I do my best to avoid them as much as possible. It's a matter of principle."

It looks like Sidney's about to say something else, but although Hawk's interested to hear it at some point, he's undoing Sidney's fly, and there's no way anything is more interesting right now than this.

"Seriously, Sid, I'm not kidding," he says, as he frees Sidney's cock from his pants. "How would you like me? Bent in half under you? On my knees with my ass in the air? Pushed up against the wall?"

Sidney gulps audibly, and his voice quavers a little as he responds. "I'd rather know what you wanted," he says quietly. "I'd thoroughly enjoy watching you pleasure yourself even if you got nowhere near touching me."

Hawk's cheeks burn. Sid's sincerity, his warmth, is something else. It keeps taking Hawk by surprise, catching him off guard; he just isn't used to this, used to someone who's unashamedly queer and unabashedly cares for him.

It isn't that Trap doesn't care, but he's not- they're not- it's just _different_ with them. Hawk isn't even sure he could deal with Trapper saying something like that to him. It would be too much, would mean too much, would _hurt_. Even coming from Sidney (poker buddy, acquaintance, and rapidly becoming a friend), Hawk can hardly bear it. From Trap it would be too real, too much and not enough all at the same time.

Hawk can't choke back his emotions, they're too strong, confusing, primal. "Jesus, Sidney." It's almost a moan.

"You know, Hawkeye," Sid says, low and rough, "you're beautiful when you're desperate."

Hawk swallows hard. "Uh."

"Do you get like this when Trapper fucks you?"

That catches Hawk's attention immediately. It shouldn't be a surprise, it isn't really, but no one else ever acknowledges it aloud. And Trap wouldn't be thrilled with the notion Sidney... _knows_. "Uh," Hawk says again. It doesn't help that the only answer he has is unsatisfactory. Yes, Trap fucks him. Yes, he gets desperate. No, it's nothing like this; they don't treat each other with the kind of tenderness that undoes him, not the way Sidney's undoing him. If Trap behaved like this... Hawk would be lost. It would be the death of him.

(That doesn't stop him from wishing Trap would.)

Sidney winds his fingers even deeper into Hawk's hair, tugs till Hawk has the choice of looking Sid in the face or closing his eyes. "You're absolutely stunning like this. I hope your bunkie appreciates it."

Hawk blinks rapidly. No, he really can't deal. He can't even think about it. "I..."

Sidney studies Hawk some more, runs his knuckles gently down the side of Hawk's face, and Hawk can't catch his breath. Goddamnit. He wants to yell at Sidney, scream at him to stop, because he can't, he absolutely cannot deal with two unavailable men burrowing their way into his heart, and at the same time all he wants is to _bathe_ in the way Sid's looking at him.

"Hawkeye... Hawk, are you all right?"

Hawk screws his eyes shut and forces himself back to the task at hand, or rather in hand, stroking Sidney's cock slow but firm. "I'm fine," he insists. "Been wanting to do this for ages. I'm _fine_."

The repetition is a mistake; if he could take it back he would. It makes him sound far too much like he's trying to convince himself, which is far too close to the truth. But Sidney rocks into his grip and makes a strangled noise of need, and it's a relief. Hawk doesn't need to be in charge, but something about Sidney makes him feel young and vulnerable. Not even in a bad way; it's almost comforting, and that's part of why it freaks him out so much. It's one thing when Sidney's being all _Sidney_ , patient and understanding and kind with some banged up kid, but here in bed together, with his hand on Sidney's cock, it's frighteningly easy to dive in heart first, to let Sidney take the lead like Hawk's a blushing virgin.

But when Sidney moans, well. No blushing virgin could prompt a sound that utterly filthy from Sidney's throat. It makes Hawk's heart pound. He's a grown man, and he can choose who he sleeps with. Disaster averted. He pushes his misgivings aside and catches Sid's mouth, captures the delicious noises Sid makes as Hawk strokes the head of his cock.

"Fuck, Sidney, look at you. All needy and hard," Hawk murmurs. He'd swear Sidney's cock leaks a little more as he speaks, as he rocks against Sidney's thigh. "Can you feel what you're doing to me?"

Sidney arches up and lets out a stream of expletives, only half of which Hawk even understands. He laughs. He never thought Sid would have a foul mouth (till tonight, he never even heard Sid curse); it's delicious to find he can prompt it in two languages.

"God, I want to taste you, can I... can I taste you?"

Sidney gulps again.

"I'll make it good," Hawk breathes, "make you forget you're in Korea, make you forget your own name."

"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?" Sidney says, his voice a mixture of humour and resignation. "How's a guy supposed to say no to that?"

"He isn't," Hawk says with a grin, "he's supposed to say 'oh God, Hawkeye Pierce, please suck my cock', then fall apart in my mouth."

Sidney lets out a short bark of a laugh. "Does that sound like something I'd say?"

"A boy can dream."

"You really wanna do this?"

"Yes."

"Because you know, it's okay if you don't."

Hawk rolls his eyes. "For fuck's sake, Sid, you're making it damn hard work here. I want to get you off, not cut your balls off."

"And I'm saying you don't have to."

"But I _want_ to."

"Most men I know aren't that keen on giving head."

Hawk's more than a little intrigued by the notion Sid has enough experience with guys to have settled opinions about this. (The idea Sid might be willing to reciprocate, of Sidney kneeling at his feet to worship his cock, makes Hawk ache in all the right places.) "I'm not most guys."

"Now that, I already figured out."

"C'mon, Sid, please? I like it, I want it, I've been jerking off imagining it since I first _met_ you."

"Yeah?" Sid's voice has gotten lower and darker, and his cheeks are flushed.

"It's..." Hawk shrugs. "It's fun. I like sex." _I like you_. "It's sort of... relaxing."

Sidney's eyebrows shoot upward again. "Relaxing?"

"Mmhm."

"You're a very strange man, Hawkeye Pierce."

"I am?"

"I'm not saying that's a bad thing."

"You flatter me," Hawk says, dry as an excellent martini and fluttering his eyelashes. Sid grins. "It's also one of the few things that keep me quiet, by the way."

"So you're saying the best solution to you talking your head off is to stick a cock in your mouth?"

"Pretty much."

"Thanks for the tip."

"You're welcome."

"Does John McIntyre know?"

"From experience."

"I see."

Sidney's looking at him again, that considering look, the one that says his training has kicked him in the cerebrum and he's rummaging in Hawk's brain, trying to figure him out some more. It feels much more intimate than sex; it's scary, and Hawk isn't above cheating to avoid being put on the spot. He trails his thumb through the puddle of precum on Sid's cock and uses it to rub tiny circles under the head, a move that's proven successful with other lovers and doesn't fail him now.

"Ahh," Sidney manages. "Ahhh, Hawkeye, fuck."

Hawk smirks. "Sid, if you don't want me to go down on you-" he starts.

"Ahh, I do, I do, _fuck_." Sid laughs. "You're either very persuasive or a terrible influence. Possibly both."

"Both is good."

More laughter.

"Only if you're sure though, Sid-"

" _Hawkeye_."

It's Hawk's turn to laugh. "Kidding, kidding." He kisses Sidney again, makes it sweet and hot, nuzzles down into the open neck of Sid's shirt, then gives up pretending he's at all patient and slides down till he's face to cock with Sid's crotch.

Sidney's watching him avidly, and his cock is leaking all over Hawk's fingers; when Hawk sweeps his tongue over it, Sidney lets out another shaky 'Ahhh' and bucks up into his mouth. "Please!"

Hawk chuckles. The power and surrender and need of it always get to him; having Sidney at his mercy is... well, it's something he's been thinking about for a long while, and he's gonna blow Sid's mind as hard as he's able.

He makes a point of keeping his eyes on Sidney's as he sinks his mouth onto Sidney's cock, swallowing him down in one fluid, well-practised motion. Sidney lets out a noise Hawk would crow about if he weren't otherwise occupied. Whatever else Hawk does or doesn't have to offer, he gives a superlative blowjob. Being able to bury his nose in a guy's happy trail isn't even his best or most effective move, it's just a party trick, but it always gets a stunned, wide-eyed reaction.

Sidney's no exception. " _Fuck_."

Hawk grins, then closes his eyes so he can concentrate. Sid's hard and hot, musky and bitter. Hawk works him like it's his job, and Sidney obliges with more multi-lingual cursing, grabbing handfuls of Hawk's hair, hips jerking up involuntarily as Hawk teases him. Hawk slips a hand into his own fatigues and tugs on his cock, because he can't wait, he can't help it, he can barely even think.

"That's it," Hawk whispers when he pulls back a little, letting his lips rest against Sidney's cock as he speaks. "God, Sidney, you're so hot when you're out of control."

Sidney's only response is a whimper and yanking so hard on Hawk's hair, it's very nearly too much. Hawk hums his approval and fucks his own fist, slipping into the near-meditative state good sex always prompts in him.

He's so engrossed, so completely absorbed, he doesn't realise when Sid swears loudly and practically pulls a clump of his hair out that it was supposed to be a warning until suddenly Sidney's coming, pulsing on his tongue and filling his mouth, gabbling incoherently, and it's so good, Hawk falls apart immediately.

Once he's swallowed and licked as much as he's able, he reluctantly lets Sidney pull him away. (Sidney whimpering 'Please, Hawkeye' in desperation is gonna be his new go-to masturbation memory, for sure.) He crawls back up the bed, flops down half next to and half on top of Sidney, and grins at Sid's dark-eyed, blissed-out expression.

"All right?"

Sidney lets out a disbelieving laugh. "Oy."

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment."

"It was intended as such." Sidney shakes his head and ruffles a hand through Hawk's hair. "That was..."

"I schtup pretty good for a goy, no?"

Sidney looks at him for a moment, then throws his head back laughing - cackling even, the kind of laugh that's usually Hawk's domain.

"I didn't intend to be quite that funny," Hawk says, deadpan. "I'll aim to be at least fifty percent less amusing after sex in future."

"Where did you even get that from?" Sid asks once his laughter eases enough for him to get a full sentence out between cackles.

"Oh, my mom grew up in New York. I picked up all kinds of stuff from her."

Sidney raises an eyebrow. "Your mom taught you what 'schtup' means?" he asks doubtfully.

"Well okay, no, but I learned a lot when we would see her friends and relatives, too. I was an impressionable kid from Maine." Hawk grins. "Obviously, it was the dirty stuff I made sure to remember."

"Obviously," Sid says, rolling his eyes. "You really are one of a kind."

"Finest kind."

"Of course." Sidney chuckles again as he slides his hand down over Hawk's hip and to his crotch, but then frowns.

"What?"

The frown turns into a pout. It's not an expression Hawk's seen or ever expected to see on Sid, and he giggles.

"You already came?"

The question takes Hawk by surprise. "I really like giving head." He cringes. Out of nowhere, he's rather bashful about it. Is it too weird, to enjoy it that much? To get off on it?

"Good for you. I was rather looking forward to returning the favour, that's all."

"Really?"

"I wanna see your face when you come."

There's that full-body flush of need again. "Oh." _Oh_.

Sidney shakes his head. "You really don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

Sidney doesn't answer, just leans in for another kiss, his hand firm and warm on Hawk's jaw. Hawk expects it to be - he's not sure what. Soft. Tentative. Expects Sidney to baulk at the lingering taste of his own come, or maybe just not to be so kind and so thorough now he's satisfied.

It turns out Hawk's wrong.

Sidney takes his time, it's gentle and tender and giving, but it's also heartfelt and deep. He knows how to kiss, he knows how to touch, he figures out what makes Hawk shudder with need then does it over and over and over until Hawk whines desperately into his mouth.

When Sidney digs his fingers back into Hawk's hair and pulls, Hawk lets out a noise he'd forgotten he could even make, naked want, voice high and shaking. Then Sid slides his hand down to caress Hawk through his pants, and damn, Hawk's in so much trouble here it's not even funny. It should be terrifying - it _is_ terrifying - but it feels so good.

Sid keeps touching him as their lips part, and Hawk grins what is probably a very goofy grin. "Your wife is a lucky woman," he says, before his brain can intervene and point out what a strange thing that is to say to a man he just sucked dry and who then proceeded to give him one of the best kisses of his life.

Sidney laughs at him. "You're an idiot," he murmurs, but he's smiling, and his voice is not so much tinged with affection as soaked in it. It's an odd revelation to have in the middle of Sid working to make Hawk hard again, but Hawk's suddenly sure they're friends, real friends, and this is a friendship that'll last, and a part of him relaxes he didn't even realise was tense.

He was already more than halfway erect, but the release pushes him the rest of the way, and he presses up into Sidney's grasp. It's his turn to make needy, desperate noises now, to beg incoherently, to make Sidney laugh even more.

"That's it," Sid says as he slips his hand into Hawk's open fly. "That's it, let me take care of you."

Hawk doesn't reply - can't reply - can't _think_. He screws his eyes shut and whimpers when Sidney gets into his skivvies. He can't deal with the reality of it, with the notion those are Sidney's deft fingers on his cock. There's a playing card digging into his neck, and it's decidedly uncomfortable, but it's good, it proves this is real, not a daydream or a fantasy. Hawk's too overwhelmed and too blissed out to do anything but let his body do whatever it wants, moving in rhythm with Sidney's hand, grabbing handfuls of the blanket and the cards, touching Sid's hair and back and ass, and all the time Sid's whispering in his ear. "That's good, Hawkeye, that's good. Beautiful."

Hawk shudders, and Sid gentles him through it. It's too much and precisely what he wants and God, this could really fuck him up, but he wouldn't stop for a million bucks. "Sid? Fuck, Sid."

Sidney chuckles. "It's okay," he breathes. He nudges at Hawk's mouth, tempts him into another kiss. Somehow Sidney's on top, and he's definitely leading now, and all Hawk can do is follow and reciprocate. He winds his fingers into Sid's curls, holds him tight and close, and the world falls away, everything in him focused on Sidney's hands and mouth and body as the delicious tension builds, winding so taut he can barely manage to breathe.

It's hardly a moment and it lasts forever, then something snaps and Hawk shakes apart at the seams, pleasure pounding through him till it's all he's aware of.

When his brain starts to function again, Sidney's easing him down with soft words and softer touches, and Hawk would swear he can hear Sidney smile.

He doesn't want to move. He really doesn't want to move. There are countless reasons he can't possibly keep this, why he's a fool for letting it happen, never mind seeking it out, but it's impossible to regret something that was so exactly what he needed.

"I don't think there's a single bone left in my whole body. They dissolved. And my muscles are jello. I hope you realise you're responsible for me now you've broken me."

Sid chuckles. "Idiot," he says again.

Hawk manages to open his eyes to half mast. Sidney's grinning, amused and affectionate. Hawk's rambling, but he can't seem to stop even as Sidney produces a handkerchief and makes an attempt to clean them both up a little.

"I'd suggest we share a shower," Hawk says, "but it would involve moving. I'm not in favour of that just yet."

"Me neither."

"You got good hands, Sid. The 4077th could be your surgical rotation, then you could stay here all the time."

Sidney laughs again. "I'll admit, that doesn't sound so bad," he murmurs, "but I do better saving lives my way than yours." He slips his fingers gently through Hawk's hair.

Hawk tucks himself in close, and for some minutes they lie there in a comfortable mutual silence.

"Sid?" Hawk says eventually.

"Mmhm?" Sid sounds almost as satisfied and wrung out as Hawk feels.

"Thanks."

Sidney presses his mouth to Hawk's temple. It's not exactly a kiss, it's too sleepy and lazy for that, but it's sweet and soft, and it makes Hawk feel terribly cared for.

"Can I stay?" Hawk whispers then, embarrassed to ask but desperately not wanting to leave. He's secure, happy even, and he's reluctant to tear himself away.

Sidney chuckles once more, tugs at the bedclothes, and by some miracle manages to haul enough of the blanket over them to at least pretend they're snug. It's just as well neither of them really got undressed, Hawk has no idea where the gin got to, and there are still crumpled cards poking in awkward places, but he can't think of anyplace he'd rather be right now.

"Of course you can stay," Sid says at last. "Of course. Everyone needs respite sometimes, Hawkeye."

Hawk could so very easily fall for this man, but that's tomorrow's problem. For now, he burrows in close, Sid's hands are warm and firm on his back, and he feels safer than he has in weeks.

_~ fin ~_


End file.
